Husband’s take on ‘I don’t know how she does it’

My husband was looking for something to watch, I recommended him to watch ‘I don’t know how she does it’ without really telling him what it is about.

So he did and he sat through it and at the end of it he told me ‘that was a good movie’.

I think he relates to SJP’s character so much more than me since he’s the workaholic of the family. He doesn’t go on holiday. We’ve never had a real family holiday. I usually just take off on my own since it’s impossible to plan with him. He works at work and at home and on weekends, I always go places on my own. Although to be fair, he does his housework and tries to be available to babysit whenever I need him to and is there for emergencies (just like SJP in the movie). So he does his duty well as a husband but he never makes that extra effort to reserve some times ahead for family outings unless I push him so hard which usually start with arguments first. So it’s usually just me and bub or him and bub. You rarely see three of us together. It’s only one or the other. When I’m available to be with bub, he would just go work, even on weekends.

An example was this easter break. Out of all four days weekend, the time he came with us was 1. when we were invited for a bbq by a group of people. Even then, he was playing with his friends leaving me playing with bub on my own. 2. when we were supposed to attend bub’s child care bbq but I got the date wrong so at the end we ended up spending an hour together doing Easter egg hunt. So our time together usually accidental or as a result of something planned by outsiders.

I value family time, which means being together. But he doesn’t. For as long as everyone’s fed, nobody’s sick, money in the bank, the house is clean, that’s his definition of happy family.

Throughout the movie he kept trying to justify himself by saying things like ‘it’s lucky that I work for academic work so I have flexible schedule’ or ‘money really isn’t measure of happiness’ or ‘I spent a lot of time with our son, don’t I?’

I just nod and smile. Looks like the movie has hit home hard.

Good.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for him as he’s a responsible husband and father but I just wish he makes that extra effort to be together without an the outside factor and stop being so obsessed with his work.

And sometimes I just feel like being a drama queen and whinge about him. And today is one of those days.

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How to spot a drama queen from 50 miles away

1. Usually the most talkative in the group.

2. The one that makes you feel like you’re best friends eventhough you hardly know each other

3.The one that likes to pull someone aside in front of a group of people to have a ‘private’ conversation. Often the said conversation usually about a trivial thing like ‘do you have 10 bucks I could borrow?’

4. The one who would tell you something about someone that you’re not supposed to know.

5. The one that freaks out when you don’t answer calls or reply to sms immediately.

6. The one who often takes ‘ a break’ from social media. This person tends to like to ‘deactivate’ their account, or in extreme case, delete it only to create a new one later on because she can’t stand being left out.

7. The one who ‘disappears’ at random. Suddenly her phone is lost or has no credit.

8. The one who makes it sound like she’s the unluckiest person on earth.

9. The one that makes it like nobody understands her.

10. The one who has heaps of friends but still says she has nobody.

11. The one who has as many enemies as friends. These enemies usually are ex friends.

12. The one who would talk shit to you about her ex friends without you asking.

13. The one who always has jaw dropping stories to tell. Then one day you eventually find out the stories actually aren’t as interesting as she make them sound.

14. The one who can turn your ordinary story into a jaw dropping story.

15. The one who always reads wrongly between the lines. Even when there’s nothing between the lines to read, she’ll still see something. For example: You say, “l can’t talk right now, can I call you back later?” She hears, “I hate you.”

16. The one who always knows someone who knows someone important/famous. For example: “I know this because my friend whose friend is jackie chan’s second cousin’s granddaughter told me.”

17. The one who always has a story to top your story.

Feel free to add more!

Affairs at work

Related to the recently watched movie, someone asked me, “did you have any spark with your boss?”

I said, “No. But I understand how it can happen.”

She said, “95% of affairs happen in the office.”

Hmm. Really? Really! Wow.

I have never experienced anything close to an affair, but I think I understand how easily it can happen. Especially when you work together so closely on something and then when you achieve something together, there’s that sense of achievement that leads to the euphoria “we did it!” feeling. You feel like you work so well with each other, you admire each other, you fill each other gaps and you appreciate each other. Sounds like the feeling of…falling in love, isn’t it?

Admittedly I’ve had inappropriate dreams about coworkers a couple of times. Not always the same one but usually the one I’ve been working closely with. This used to happen in school too. When I say inappropriate, yes, I mean inappropriate, unprofessional way to dream of a colleague. I wake up blushing and want to kick the dream fairy who plants the dream in my head. And the next day when I go to work and see that person, I will remember my dream and have to stop myself from giggling like a teenage girl. Seriously, dream fairy! Come on! These people aren’t usually even my type and I wouldn’t in my right mind have any sort of affair with them even if I were single.

But see, if I didn’t know myself better, or if I’m desperately looking for love, or say if I’m unhappy with marriage, I would have easily mistaken it as being fallen in love and may pursue it.

So what’s your take on the issue?