Favourite kpop acts

Category 1: Obsessed. I know everything about them, owned almost all their physical released albums.


Dong Bang Shin Ki (5 members)

Best group ever. I stopped obsessing when the broke up. They have the craziest fandom. The ‘you touch my oppa, you’ll die’ kind of fandom.


Wonder Girls

The most genuine down to earth girls in kpop. They’re nowhere near perfect but they improve every single time. They have the nicest fans. Unlike other girl groups where male fans are dominant, Wonder Girls is one girl group that probably has more female fans than male fans.


Jo Kwon(2AM) & Ga In (BEG)

My favourite We Got Married couple.  They’re hilarious!


Category 2: I follow their news and know a lot about them, occasioally buy their albums but not emotionally attached to them.



Uhm, the origin of butt dance. Need I say more?


Miss A

Wonder Girls’ fierced sisters. Great dancers, great singers. Love these girls.



Energetic performers. I watched them live once and wow, they’re amazing.


After School (before Kahi and Bekah’s graduation)

I think the first 5 member formation was the best.


Brown Eyed Girls

Such talented singers.



I love how serious these guys when they’re singing yet when they aren’t they can pass as comedians.


Girls Generation

Who doesn’t know GG?



They’re not rookie anymore but they disappeared from the kpop scenes for awhile now. What a pity.



The female half od Co-Ed. I love their songs. But now that Chanmi, the essence of this group, has left, I don’t know what has become of them.





Highlights from Find You in the Dark that makes me LOL because…

they remind me of Elle.

The crazy obsession…

  • “Why are you so interested in me?” He asked quietly. Hmm. How to answer that one? I didn’t want to tell him that I thought he was the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen and wanted to have his babies.
  • Clayton made me feel nervous and giddy all at once. I liked it.
  • I even made a point to wait outside of the creative writing class I knew he had with Rachel, but he somehow snuck out without me seeing him. Okay, I admit, I was becoming a bit obsessed.

Elle never afraid to admit she’s a sucker for gorgeous bad boy…and she’s obsessed with them.

Taking risk in the name of love

  • “I told my parents I was staying after school so I could get some extra help in Chemistry. Why don’t I blow off my study group and we go to your house.”
  • I quickly did the math in my head ad relaxed when I realize the unprotected sex shouldn’t be an issue.

Giving in to spur of the moment temptation…admit it, woman, you’ve been there, done that.

Guilty and she knows it…but go for it anyway. 

  • But as I watched his fantastic ass in his dark jeans, I forgot abut guilt and was overcome by unbridled hormones.
  • As I got in, I had a moment of guilt that here I was again, lying to my parents.
  • I was being an ungrateful little bitch and I knew it.

How many times have I heard “I know I know it’s bad for me but I just can’t stop!!!”

I love you, Mom. But right now, you’re driving me crazy.

  • I glared at my mother, the woman who had been  my best friend and biggest support for most of my life. But in that moment I forgot all about that. Instead, all I saw when I looked at her, was my enemy.

She and her mom drive each other crazy when they’re together.

Doesn’t always agree with her parents but know they just want the best for her.

  • And I felt the guilt again as I thought of my own warm and loving parents who, in all of their over protectiveness, just wanted what was best for me.

No matter how much she argues, at the end of the day, she knows they just want the best for her.

Regret and self reflection…

  • But now in the cold light of morning, I was reminded of how awful things had gotten. Had I rushed into sex to try and block out how much he had hurt me?

Wondering if she’s done the right thing…sometimes a little too late.

Don’t mess with me attitude

  • He tried to reach out for me and I slapped him across the face. Hard.

I can so see Elle do that.

Like Maggie, I think she’s pretty cool.

Lunchtime pondering: dreaming

The past two nights I had some intense vivid dreams. I’ve forgotten all about them now but I remembered them clearly when I just woke up.

Whenever I think about dreams, I can hear Elle’s words echoing in my head, ‘I’m a dreamer, I have vivid imagination’ which brings me to the question ‘do I dream enough?’

Of course the dream we’re talking about here is not the dreams you get when you’re sleeping, but about daydreams. Things you think about, things you wish are reality but they aren’t and often they may never be.

I’m one who’s afraid to dream. I think I don’t dream enough. When I read a book or watch a movie, I usually forget the storyline quickly. I was listing books I’ve read on goodreads the other day, about three quarters of them I don’t remember anymore what they’re about. My husband asked me if I’ve watched this movie called ‘Joy Luck Club’, I remembered I’ve watched it multiple times but I honestly have zero idea right now what it was about. Ask me what Lion King is about. I have no idea.

Why am I so afraid to dream? I tried looking back to my past and pinpoint any event that made me afraid to dream but I couldn’t. In fact, as a child, I have big imagination. I remember I have an imaginary boyfriend and I was an imaginary  character. It’s a little secret I have with myself. My mom said I talked to myself a lot.

But now, unless I know I can achieve it, I don’t dare to dream. Elle loves her fantasy alpha male boys from books. I don’t, not because I don’t like them, but because I know they are not real so I already build a wall before I get to know them. Had they been a real person, I will probably love them. I mean, who wouldn’t love a rich, attentive, romantic and hot guy who pampers you and thinks you’re the most precious thing in the world?

I’ve been taught that success starts with a dream. How can I be successful if I don’t dream? My husband, being the workaholic he is, often asked me what my goal in life. I never answered him. Because I have none. Maybe I do have one. I  want to be happy. As long as I’m happy, I’m content.

I think maybe that’s why. Dreams are not real. At least not for the moment. When good things I really like and want but I can’t have it because it’s not real, it makes me sad. I don’t like being sad. So why dream?

The day I do dream, I usually know that one day my dream will come true. For example, I dream to work with little children. I would love to work in child care industry but giving up my job right now is not very wise. I’ve been in this career for so long and to start over in a different field is just not financially wise. But I know for sure, that one day, when money is no longer an issue, I can make the career switch.

That’s how I dream. I dream small. Things I can make true. Even when I write fictions, the characters are usually based on people that I know in real life. See, even something that is supposed to be fictional contains some reality. I just don’t have the guts to dream.

My dad is a big dreamer. He always tells me to dream big, it’s the only way to be successful. But I can’t. I just can’t. Sorry, daddy. You’ll just have to be satisfied with an ordinary daughter who makes a living by doing ordinary job. I will never make a big name for myself. But I’m truly happy to be ordinary. That is, if you’re happy for me.