Husband’s take on ‘I don’t know how she does it’

My husband was looking for something to watch, I recommended him to watch ‘I don’t know how she does it’ without really telling him what it is about.

So he did and he sat through it and at the end of it he told me ‘that was a good movie’.

I think he relates to SJP’s character so much more than me since he’s the workaholic of the family. He doesn’t go on holiday. We’ve never had a real family holiday. I usually just take off on my own since it’s impossible to plan with him. He works at work and at home and on weekends, I always go places on my own. Although to be fair, he does his housework and tries to be available to babysit whenever I need him to and is there for emergencies (just like SJP in the movie). So he does his duty well as a husband but he never makes that extra effort to reserve some times ahead for family outings unless I push him so hard which usually start with arguments first. So it’s usually just me and bub or him and bub. You rarely see three of us together. It’s only one or the other. When I’m available to be with bub, he would just go work, even on weekends.

An example was this easter break. Out of all four days weekend, the time he came with us was 1. when we were invited for a bbq by a group of people. Even then, he was playing with his friends leaving me playing with bub on my own. 2. when we were supposed to attend bub’s child care bbq but I got the date wrong so at the end we ended up spending an hour together doing Easter egg hunt. So our time together usually accidental or as a result of something planned by outsiders.

I value family time, which means being together. But he doesn’t. For as long as everyone’s fed, nobody’s sick, money in the bank, the house is clean, that’s his definition of happy family.

Throughout the movie he kept trying to justify himself by saying things like ‘it’s lucky that I work for academic work so I have flexible schedule’ or ‘money really isn’t measure of happiness’ or ‘I spent a lot of time with our son, don’t I?’

I just nod and smile. Looks like the movie has hit home hard.

Good.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for him as he’s a responsible husband and father but I just wish he makes that extra effort to be together without an the outside factor and stop being so obsessed with his work.

And sometimes I just feel like being a drama queen and whinge about him. And today is one of those days.

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