How to spot a drama queen from 50 miles away

1. Usually the most talkative in the group.

2. The one that makes you feel like you’re best friends eventhough you hardly know each other

3.The one that likes to pull someone aside in front of a group of people to have a ‘private’ conversation. Often the said conversation usually about a trivial thing like ‘do you have 10 bucks I could borrow?’

4. The one who would tell you something about someone that you’re not supposed to know.

5. The one that freaks out when you don’t answer calls or reply to sms immediately.

6. The one who often takes ‘ a break’ from social media. This person tends to like to ‘deactivate’ their account, or in extreme case, delete it only to create a new one later on because she can’t stand being left out.

7. The one who ‘disappears’ at random. Suddenly her phone is lost or has no credit.

8. The one who makes it sound like she’s the unluckiest person on earth.

9. The one that makes it like nobody understands her.

10. The one who has heaps of friends but still says she has nobody.

11. The one who has as many enemies as friends. These enemies usually are ex friends.

12. The one who would talk shit to you about her ex friends without you asking.

13. The one who always has jaw dropping stories to tell. Then one day you eventually find out the stories actually aren’t as interesting as she make them sound.

14. The one who can turn your ordinary story into a jaw dropping story.

15. The one who always reads wrongly between the lines. Even when there’s nothing between the lines to read, she’ll still see something. For example: You say, “l can’t talk right now, can I call you back later?” She hears, “I hate you.”

16. The one who always knows someone who knows someone important/famous. For example: “I know this because my friend whose friend is jackie chan’s second cousin’s granddaughter told me.”

17. The one who always has a story to top your story.

Feel free to add more!

Play ideas for two year old toddler #2

Today is Good Friday. We had a busy morning, I’m pretty beat now but I need to write this down before I forget. We had some good play today.

1. Beach play.
My son’s been to the beach many times but I feel that he didn’t have maximum play. When it’s an open ocean, he’s usually too scared to get to the water. He prefers rock pool and the lagoon. We were at the lagoon today. It’s a great location as it’s a shallow water. I don’t like it as the water was rather polluted but I saw many kids there so obviously it didn’t bother other people. My son had a blast. I was surprise that he went to water at his own will. Combination of sand and water along with the right toys provided him with endless entertainment. Today we had: a plastic digger/dumper, a wheel barrow, spades and forks, a bucket, and a small watering can.
We first had a play at the grass area. He was picking leaves for his digger/dumper. I let him fill the watering can with the tap water and he had fun watering the grass and filling the dumper with water. Then we moved to the water. Again the digger/dumper had a lot of exercise. He run it in the shallow water. He dug sand using spade and splashed it in the water. I don’t know what else he played, he was just so busy talking and playing by himself. I ended up entertaining an older kid more so than my son as he was content doing things on his own. I think the must have item for the beach is the digger/dumper (it’s a digger and a dumper in one, I think it was a cheap plastic one from Big W) and a spade. The bucket didn’t get much use. Oh he also pushed the wheel barrow in the water and filled it with sand and water. I think as long as he has something with wheels, his imagination does the rest.

2. Baking.
I let him pour the ingredients in a bowl and he mixed it up for a bit. I then put the bowl on the floor and use the electric mixer to mix it and he thought it was the funniest thing. Then he put more ingredients in. I think he enjoys that most and the mixing with spatula. After that gets bored and wanted to wash his hands and left me do the rest.

3. Beep beep.
My husband and I were sitting on the couch with our legs up. My son walked around the couch and he went ‘beep beep!’ for us to put our legs down so he can pass through. My husband taught him to press an imaginary button along with saying beep beep. He went around and around and beeping and pressing imaginary buttons. It was fun and easy play. All we had to do was sit and put our legs down when he passes by.

4. Showering like mommy.
Instead of bathing in his baby bath, I let him shower today. He brought with him two helicopters to shower along and a small plastic bowl. After I finished soaping and scrubbing him, I closed the shower door and he had a blast in there on his own while I cleaned the sink and toilet.
He talked to the helicopters, bathed them, flied them, and stood under the shower and told me he’s showering like mommy and daddy. I let him stayed in there for as long as he liked. When he finally decided to come out, he made me towel the helicopters first because they’re wet. When I tried to dry him first he wasn’t happy. The helicopters are more important! He was very happy with his clean helicopters.

5. Acting out stories from book/tv.
He was watching thomas and in one episode one of the engine got stuck under rocks that rumbled down from the mountain. We have a story book with similar rumbling rocks and a digger came to the rescue. So I started acting out the story using imaginary rocks but he had a better idea. He poured out the wooden train tracks on an train engine pretending they were rocks, and used his digger to help pushed the “rocks” to rescue the engine. He then put the tracks back in the box and poured them out again. He did it so many times. I think acting out story is a great idea. He used to love acting out a fire engine rescuing a cat from another book.

Affairs at work

Related to the recently watched movie, someone asked me, “did you have any spark with your boss?”

I said, “No. But I understand how it can happen.”

She said, “95% of affairs happen in the office.”

Hmm. Really? Really! Wow.

I have never experienced anything close to an affair, but I think I understand how easily it can happen. Especially when you work together so closely on something and then when you achieve something together, there’s that sense of achievement that leads to the euphoria “we did it!” feeling. You feel like you work so well with each other, you admire each other, you fill each other gaps and you appreciate each other. Sounds like the feeling of…falling in love, isn’t it?

Admittedly I’ve had inappropriate dreams about coworkers a couple of times. Not always the same one but usually the one I’ve been working closely with. This used to happen in school too. When I say inappropriate, yes, I mean inappropriate, unprofessional way to dream of a colleague. I wake up blushing and want to kick the dream fairy who plants the dream in my head. And the next day when I go to work and see that person, I will remember my dream and have to stop myself from giggling like a teenage girl. Seriously, dream fairy! Come on! These people aren’t usually even my type and I wouldn’t in my right mind have any sort of affair with them even if I were single.

But see, if I didn’t know myself better, or if I’m desperately looking for love, or say if I’m unhappy with marriage, I would have easily mistaken it as being fallen in love and may pursue it.

So what’s your take on the issue?

‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ movie review

I watched this movie today and tonight as I was browsing around I stumbled across its review at imdb. I was surprised it was rated so low and had bad reviews because I love love it!

Then after reading a few reviews, I realise, yes, you do need to be a mom to appreciate this movie which is really a small demographic as most moms of young kids don’t usually have the time to sit down for a cup of tea let alone watch an hour and a half movie. Usually when you have that hour and half you would rather sleep or take a shower or eat without someone climbing on your lap.

I love this movie as I can relate at so many levels. I cried and smiled at the same time as the lead mother.

Although my life isn’t nearly as hectic as Kate in the movie, a lot of elements are similar, mainly the guilt of leaving your child to go to work. I bawled my eyes out when she had to say goodbye to her kids. I feel the same way whenever I drop my son at childcare. I’ve recently gone through an internal battle of guilt when I went back to work for longer hours than last year and when I gave up the babysitter for 4 days of childcare. I was consumed with guilt, I felt like the most selfish person. The guilt has not completely gone away, I don’t think it ever will, but I’ve accepted that this is the best arrangement I can do right now and I’m committed to make up for the lost times by spending more quality times with him whenever I can.

Another thing I can relate is the whole constantly making a list thing. I have this invisible list in my head, I will always be mentally listing my meal plans, activities with my sons, doctor appointments, classes, shopping list, which toys to fix, which clothes to wear, what present to buy, drafting emails in my head, etc etc.

I thankfully has none of those competitive moms ‘friends’ but I’m often competitive with myself. I want to do the best and give the best for my son but often I can’t and it leaves me frustrated. I don’t think there are many of those ‘perfect moms’ portrayed in the movie in reality, but really it’s the inner demon of every mothers out there. You always feel that you’re never good enough.

The overly comfortable babysitter who thinks she has the best job in the world. Been there done that. It’ll be in another post.

Working in a male dominated field, that’s me. Although thankfully I have awesome boss and workmates. None of those jealous bitchy type of guys. Wish I have an assistant like Momo though! I thought she was cool.

The near miss affair with someone you closely work with isn’t me but I can understand why and how it can happen. Another post on that later.

The life always rush rush, never sits down and have 5 mins talk, never having sex, never goes on holiday together…that’s how it is in this house. Although the crazy workaholic isn’t me. It’s the other half.

Seriously, this movie is an exaggerated version of my life and many other mothers out there who’re juggling many things at once.

It makes me realise that despite no matter how crazy life gets, you must always spare a moment to be with your family as life is meaningless without them. It doesn’t matter how successful you are or how much money you have, if at the end of the day you come home to a family that’s falling apart, it’s just not worth it.

It’s one of those movies that makes you rethink how you look at life. It’s presented in an exaggerated and comedic way that it entertains and makes you laugh at the irony of being a mother.

Five stars from me. I can’t fault it!

Okay, I’m back after reading more reviews and it’s saddening that a lot of comments on the reviews turned into mommy wars and a lot of judging. I don’t think this movie is trying to portray working mom as the superior or inferior one. It’s just portraying the irony of life, and in this case, the life of a mom who works like crazy. It’s a movie, it’s meant to be exaggerated. It doesn’t claim to be a true story. Come on, really, I haven’t met a single stay home mom who goes to the gym from 9 to 2pm. It’s just a representative of the inner desire. Sure, we all want to be fit and look gorgeous all the time but none of us have the time to go to the gym 9 to 2, be it working or not working, mom or not mom.

I haven’t so far read any positive review of this movie. It’s sad! I thought Sarah Jessica Parker did a good job.

Play ideas for 2 year old.

In the perfect world, my toddler never watches TV, I always have the time and energy to have quality time with him and provides him with stimulating activities, I’m healthy and of my ideal weight, the house always clean and tidy, I have a child friendly garden, I cook healthy balanced meals for the family every day and still go to work and bring money home.

But this isn’t a perfect world.

The reality is, my toddler goes to childcare 4 days a week, when he gets home, it’s peppa pig time while I organise his often not balanced dinner. My husband has to cook for himself, my house is in a mess, my garden is full of weeds and ants and other questionable creatures. And oh, I go to work and what I earn just enough to pay for his childcare. Oh and I’m overweight.

Hmm.

To make up for the lost times while I’m at work, I do try to spend as much quality times as I can with him over the weekend (fri-sat-sun). TRY is the keyword here. More often than not, he ended up plopping (is that a word?) In front of tv watching random cartoons on abc4kids or peppa pig or thomas, or whatever kids show dvd he can find in the house because I’m either 1. So tired 2. Got to cook 3. Got to eat 4. He’s just not interested in anything else I offer him. “Play car?” “NO!”. “Read books?” “NO!”, “Play cooking?” “NO!”, “Bake a cake?” “NO!”, “Go outside?” “NO!” “Playground? “NO!”, “Bike!” “NO!”, “Peppa Pig?” “YAYYYY!!!”.

Anyway, with TRY being the keyword here, I often rack my brain trying to find activities that’s different and interesting for him. Since he’s at childcare 4 days a week, things like painting, drawing, crafts, playdough, singing, dancing, playground, even baking don’t interest him anymore. Been there done that is his attitude nowadays.

So I TRY to think outside the box. Problem is I’m bad at it. I’m not the creative type, so it takes real effort to get out of that box and see what’s outside.

Sometimes however, accidentally I will find an activity that’s a novelty to him and makes him excited. Problem is, I don’t note it down, next time I need one, I forgot what I’ve done in the past and I’m back to square one. By square one I mean peppa pig.

I was looking at some photos the other day and saw this photos my husband took of me being chased around by my toddler who was aiming the garden hose at me.
Then I remember that he likes to play water outside.

So yesterday, during one of those ‘I’m so bored, I’ll just watch some peppa pig’ time of the day, I took some empty little and big containers outside, turn on the hose, take the bubble wand, and let him go nuts. I blew bubbles, he tried to aim the water to the bubbles. Then because the ground was wet, the bubble didn’t pop when it lands on the ground so he had fun jumping and popping the bubbles. Then he ‘jumped on the muddy puddles’ ala peppa. He uses the hose to fill the containers, stacks the containers, nested the small ones into big ones, poured water out, refill, etc. We spent an hour outside before it was getting cold and dark and it was time for a bath.

So my point of this post is as a note to myself to record down this fun activities so next time I WILL remember when I need it.

I hope I can write every week so I eventually have a collection of ideas.

So this weekend we did:
1. The water and bubble thing
2. Playing tent by tying bed sheet/piece of long cloth on his cot as a ‘roof’. But it became so much more than a roof. At the end it became an obstacle course for him to jump over, sit on, put things on and shake shake. He had heaps of fun with the ‘tent’.
3. Took the ride-on motorised car for a drive and taught him basic driving skill, mainly ‘look in front when you’re driving!!’ ‘Drive two hands!!’. Note to self: charge the car. The car was a birthday present from someone and I thought it was pretty useless as it’s motorised and he doesn’t get to excercise when he’s on it unlike other ride-ons. So we hardly use it but today he suddenly wanted to take it outside to drive. Turned out he ended up getting some exercise with it as it’s really meant for flat surface and it’s very slow. He ended up pushing it on the way back as it was running out of power and was extremely slow. And at some slopes it just won’t go so I have to push it. So we had fun.
4. Pushing the big tonka trucks up and down the drive way.
5. Cutting paper using those kids friendly blunt plastic sciccors. I had to hold the paper though while he cut.
6. Had a shower like mommy. Meaning stand in the shower (not in the bath). He hold a small plastic bowl and kept filling it with daddy’s shampoo and then water to make bubbles. I think I need to buy an inexpensive soap in a pump container just for him to play as daddy soon will find his shampoo runs out so quickly.

Drama queens

My phone indicated there’s an incoming text message and I ignored it knowing my hands full with the two boys and whoever that is, surely its not urgent or they would have called.

Now..  I don’t know about you but was there a rule somewhere written that a text message needs to be address ASAP? Because, I for one wasn’t aware of such rule.

After everything, I finally made my way towards the charging phone and to my surprised had few text messages that makes me wonder if I had turned the other way and commit myself to another relationship with a clingy girlfriend.

To be fair she was asking me if I had a car and if I can drive it last night. It came when I had to put the boys to sleep and I thought nothing of it. We sort of make plan to see each other next week anyway. So I thought, i just reply her tomorrow and well.. haven’t really got around to it and ok..  ok.. I admit it! I forgot about it!

So today, she probably been waiting for it (really.. if she needs answer so badly.. just pick up the phone and call me. Its not like the phone call would cost her THAT much). Wait?…  am I wrong?

This is how the text goes:

20:35 – no answer? dun worry, I wont ask you for a ride

20:35 – or any help w/car.

20:35 – just happened to have tickets for science show so asked you whether u have a ride. but tickets taken already

20:36 – by my friend, Adly. Have a good weekend.

I read it over and over and reminded myself this is why I wasn’t the type to have many girl friends over high school.

There’s just too many drama and hidden feelings that I had to deal with and most of the time I was oblivious to it and enough to make them go all psycho on me when I had no idea why.

Drama queen

Don’t get me wrong…  even as I typed this out I knew she might just being polite and explaining her story but.. ha ha.. TRUST me.. I don’t think thats the case. Its not the first time she practically pissed off because I ‘forgot’ to reply her text message when silly ol’ me and my air head thought the conversation was well ended. Apparently she didn’t so.

Normally I would just laugh it off and of course think nothing more to it and put it down as she’s just being funny and all. But then before the year end last year she took off without a word like a mystery. Puff!!! disappeared!! As if she was on some secret mission and went back to her home country. Her phone was disconnected, she didn’t reply her emails to everyone who was wondering what happened (Err… we attend the same Play Group) and everyone was quite worry for her since she just avoid any contact with anyone.

Then this year, she came back so I called without answer. I thought.. thats very normal. Not everyone attached to their phone 24/7 and think nothing of it. (Its another whole story if my hubby didn’t pick up his phone at 3rd ring. There would be drama for sure. But lets stick to the drama queen)

Anyway.. whatever it was, she was sure avoiding me and only when one of our mutual friend told her that I was asking for her she called me and made up some story about losing all the contacts and had to call the phone company to ask for my number.

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I wasn’t even looking for an explanation at all. I was just curious she treated as a secret mission. But truth is, whatever people do is really none of anyone’s business and doesn’t always require justification. I can totally respect that but to go about some bullshit-lame excuses its kinda over the top for me. In her words “… so I called the phone company and asked them to tell me the number that I sent the most text to last year and thats how I got your number back”

Santana_rolling_her_eyes

Err… what about telling me she got my number from one of the mom at the Play Group. Now that’s more believable!

It reminded me of this girl I used to know who made up too many lies, its hard for her to keep track on  her own story. At the end.. I really felt sorry for her. She was such a pretty girl with good nature minus her lies and its really sad to see that she felt the need to made up stories to get others to like her. Its really sad. She’s perfectly fine the way she was and doesn’t need the whole drama and series of bullshit to make her interesting but I guess some people just into drama.

Im not too far from drama queen, myself. After all, we all have a fair share of drama in our personality however flawless it is. And I do tolerate that, just chose not to when I can avoid it.

I went through high school hanging around boys more than girls for that reason. Guys are less complicated. They don’t like it, they would say so (often to your face!). No sugar coating, no hidden messages.. its plain and simple.

I have been blessed enough to meet not just one but a few cool mums that I can call friends who’s cool enough to hang around minus the drama over the past years. Frankly I was very worried about motherhood and how will I fit in with other moms but life has been more than kind. Things has been great in the friends department, so cant complain much.

But yeah.. what this woman was doing was kinda high school and made me cringe for a second.

Its not the first time I forgot to return missed calls, text, emails or messengers…  but it was always cool and not a big deal. .. or is it?

Am I to thick in the manner department or woman are just drama queens? (hey! Im on of them.. so don’t star pointing your fingers at me).